Marius Caesar
by Robyn-Enjolras
Summary: This is a Les MisJulius Caesar crossover, so beware. It is odd. When you review, no flames. Enjoy! I'm posting this again and I hope you won't yell at me. COMPLETE
1. Act I

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Les Mis characters or Julius Caesar. I wish I did, though. Oh, and I don't own the song "Erie Canal". This is part Les Mis, part JC so don't yell at me if you dont know what Les Miserables is.

Me: (to you) Hi! Welcome to my production of a Julius Caesar crossover! Yay! ::confetti:: Oh, and we're using my abridged script so there will be no Marullus, Flavius, commoners in that scene, or any others that I forget to mention.

Javert: Huh?

Gavroche: Toast :)

Enjolras: Why should I care about historical figures when I can be revolting and building barricades?

Grantaire: Couldn't we do something like cheese? Cheese tasted good with wine.

Me: Glazer! (Note: Erica is my friend, she is not fictional)

Erica: ::pops out of nowhere:: You rang?

Me: I've promoted you to assistant director.

Erica: Yay! goes to talk to Cosette and Eponine 

Enjolras: Now _that _was pointless.

Marius: Yeah, she took Cosette away.

Fantine: ::shakes Marius's hand:: Welcome to my world.

Me: _Anyway_, don't you want to know what you're parts are?

Gavroche: Me!

Me: ::pats Gavroche:: Good boy. Caesar is Marius.

Cosette: ::leaves Erica and Eponine:: I guess I'm Calpurnia.

Me: No.

Cosette: No? ::tears swell up in her eyes:: 

Me: You're Portia.

Valjean: Who's Brutus?

Me: I ain't done yet!

Gavroche: And you say I have bad grammar... 

Me: Brutus is Combeferre.

'Ferre: Me?

Me: Yup.

Marius: Who's Calpurina?

Me: Eponine.

Eponine: I get to be with Marius! Yay! ::more confetti:: 

Cosette: I-I-I'm married to _Combeferre_?

Me: ::Evil Squirrel Laugh::

Me: Yeah. Antony is Enjolras.

Enjolras: Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears. ::smiles:: I got to make that into a speech...

Me: Cassius is Javert.

Javert: Groovy. note the sarcasm

Me: Cinna is Jehan.

Jehan: Ditto. (minus sarcasm)

Me: Casca is Grantaire.

Grantaire: OK.

Me: Decius is Lesgles.

Lesgles: I got a name! 

Me: Soothsayer is Bahorel.

Bahorel: I get a part. I didn't have one in the musical.

All except him: We know

Me: Pindarus is Valjean.

Valjean: Me? Javert's servant? I spent 19 years-

Javert: Heh, heh, heh...

Me: Octavius is Gavroche.

Gavroche: Weee! 

Me: Titnius is Joly.

Joly: ::sneezes:: 

Me: Messala is Courfeyrac.

Courfeyrac: Also, groovy.

Me: Lucius is Azelma.

'Zelma: I get a part too! Me and Bahorel were left out in the-

Me: Musical, yes we know. And A servant to Antony is Thénardier. And Mme. T is A servant to Octavius.

Thénardiers: Grrr...

Me: Cool. Uh, 1st Roman is Montparnasse. 2nd Roman is Babet, and 3rd Roman is Fantine.

Fantine: Interesting...

'Parnasse and Babet: Grrr...

Me: You do that. And me and Erica are the directors.

Erica: Let the play begin! 

Me: Note that this abridged. Don't kill me, 'cause you're not getting the full script.

Erica: In the wings Enter Caesar, Soothsayer, Casca, Brutus, Decius, Calpurnia, Portia, Romans 1, 2, and 3, Cassius, and Antony. (They enter)

Bahorel: ::raspy:: Caesar.

Marius: ::In normal dorky Mariusvoice:: I hear a voice shriller than all music! Who was that?

Me: Cut! Marius you play Julius Caesar. Sound more like, like, well, Enjolras.

Enjy: ::smiles for a second or two::

Marius: ::looks offended:: ::sniff:: I'll try to::sniff:: 

_Marius says his line better and Erica applauses_

Grantaire: Peace! Caesar is talking! Wait, I don't care if Marius talks, 'cause all he talks about is stupid Cosette!

Cosette: ::ahem::

Grantaire: Uh, sorry. ahem Caesar is talking!

Bahorel: Beware the ides of March.

Marius: Who is that man?

Gavroche: Stupid Marius, Cosette is offended it's Bahorel.

Me: No! It's in the script, Gav.

Gav: Oh ::smiles:: 

'Ferre: A soothsayer, Caesar, and he says you should be very careful on March 15th.

Erica: What an actor... 

Marius: Bring him here-

Valjean: Bring him home... ::hums the rest:: 

Enjolras: ::gives Valjean his glare from his place on top of my staircase::

Me: Good boy.

Marius:- Let me see his face.

Javert: Fellow, come here and look at him.

Bahorel: No thanks, I see Marius enough.

_Fast Forward_

Me: ::twiddling my thumbs while back-to-back with Erica:: ::sings:: I got a mule her name is Sal. Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal...

Erica: ::sings:: We've hauled some barges in our day, filled with lumber, coal and hay.

Me and Erica: ::sings:: And we know ev'ry inch of the way, from Albany to Buffalo.

Enjolras: Best rendition of "Erie Canal" I've ever heard.

Courfeyrac: It's the only time you've heard it.

Ringo Starr (from the Beatles): ::comes out of nowhere and plays on his drums:: Budum chick (or that drum noise you hear on some comedy shows, you know what I mean)

'Ferre: ::still reading from his script:: It's not you, Cassius; it's me. I've been very preoccupied with some personal problems lately.

_Fast Forward_

Me: Ifteenfay ilesmay on the Erie Analcay.

Enjolras: "Erie Canal" in Pig Latin?

Me: Esyay. (Yes)

Javert: ::reading from script:: I was born as free as Caesar, so were you.

Erica: Next scene! Robyn and I are getting tired of singing "Erie Canal"! On the stage we need: 'Ferre and 'Zelma

'Ferre: reading Lucius! I can tell by looking at the stars how late it is. Lucius! I wish I could sleep as soundly as he does. Lucius! Lucius, wake up!

(Azelma enters)

Light a candle in my study, and then come and get me.

Azelma: Yeah.

Me: Not reading from the script! Shakespeare did not make any of his characters say 'yeah'.

Erica: (standing up for 'Zelma) Well, now he did.

Me: Whatever...

_Fast Forward because the next line is _really _long_

_('Zelma Enters)_

'Zelma: The candle is lighted, sir. I found this letter.

'Ferre: Isn't tomorrow the ides of March? Look at the calendar.

(Azelma exits)

::reading 'letters':: "Brutus you're asleep. Wake up and see yourself. Speak, strike!" I have seen many letters like these lately. "Shall rome live in fear of one man?" Rome, I promise you'll get all you ask from Brutus!

Azelma: Yes, sir. Tomorrow is March 15th.

(There is a knock, Azelma exits)

Me: Alright, guys. Looks like you need a break.

Enjy: But I haven't been on yet!

Me: Neither has Joly, Courfeyrac, the Thénardiers, 'Parnasse, Babet, Gavroche, Valjean, Cosette, or Eponine.

Erica: Who wants some toast? Gav: I do!

Author's Note: Uh, OK, that was odd. See that little button down there. Yeah, that's it. Click on it. Now, REVIEW! No flames, please.


	2. Act II

A/N: sigh I don't feel like typing a summary of "3001: The Fianl Odyssey" or doing a science project, so here's the long awaited part II of Marius Caesar! Yay!

Me: No, we gotta get back on schedule! And guess what?!

Mizzies and Erica: What??

Me: I found my mom's old Julius Caesar script!

Cosette: Joy… sarcasm

Eponine: The old script was easier.

Erica: Can we just use the old script?

Me: Fine…

Everyone else: Yay!

Me: So, we left off when 'Zelma said something about March 15th so that means Javert, Lesgles, Grantaire, Jehan- you're on!

Javert: Bonjour, Brutus. Did we trouble you?

Erica: Huh?

Me: Say 'Good Morning', Javert.

Javert: Good Morning, Brutus. Did we trouble you? Better?

Erica: Groovy.

_Fast Forward because my script just fell on the floor and there are lots of lines._

Javert: We need someone to escort him to the Capitol.

Lesgles: Line!

Me: Oh, no…

Lesgles: as loud as he can Don't worry! I'll persuade him to go to the Capitol!

'Ferre: Good day, gentlemen. (They exit) Lucius! Still asleep? Well, sleep well because you have nothing to worry about.

Cosette: Do I have to?

Me: Oh, go on Scarlett O'Hara... (I push her onto makeshift stage)

Cosette: (over her shoulder) Scarlett who?

Erica: Never mind.

A/N: All I got cuzI gotta go now. Au revoir more soon!


	3. Act III The End!

A/N: I'm bored… so I'll just write another chapter! YAY!

Me: Y'know what, humans… oh, and Erica…  
Erica: HEY!  
Me: Yeah, um, so, do you just wanna quit this play. And, er, maybe start a new one…?  
'Zelma: Yeah, I'm getting kinda bored…  
Enjolras: She's right.  
Grantaire: (gasp)  
Enjolras: For God sakes, R, I don't like her!  
'Ferre: Yeah, uh huh, sure, whatever.  
Enjolras: YOU'RE MEAN!  
Cosette: But… (sniff) my part was just (sniff) coming on!  
Robyn: Ha ha, sucks for you.  
Cosette: Marius! (collapses)  
Robyn: (does victory yell)  
Erica: Someone needs a nap…  
Robyn: Sit on it, Glazer…  
Erica: Huh?  
Robyn: God, haven't you _ever_ seen "Happy Days"?  
Erica: Er…no…  
Robyn: Wait! That's it!  
Erica, Mizzies: WHAT?  
Robyn: Glazer, c'mere. (insane director grin)  
Erica: Uh… ok…  
Robyn: (to Erica) Well, first off, we could have those people over there do a 'Happy Days' parody thingy! Isn't great?  
Erica: OK… but you know more about 'Happy Days' then me…  
Robyn: That's why you're _co-_director!  
Erica: Oh yeah!  
Robyn: Alright, fellas, we're doing 'Happy Days"!

A/N: Finally, Marius Caesar is over! Wait, that means I have to right a new fic with the Mizzies as 'Happy Days' people… Oh, dear! But I promise I'll do it! I promise! I really do!


End file.
